No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and
began putting away the groceries.
The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "So I'm looking for the seal."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out
of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
A four year old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail."