Laws

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.  

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.  

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.  

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.  

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.  

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).  

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.  

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.  

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.  

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.  

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.  

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.  

Law of Rugs/Carpets

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness 

and cost of the carpet/rug.  

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.  

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.  

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.  

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.  

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.