The following are true questions and answers from a graduate school science test:

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtiration makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

Q. How can you delay milk from turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. 

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpet on the stairs. 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says
"good bye" to boyhood and looks forward to adultery. 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Pre-mature death. 

Q. What is a fibular?
A. A small lie. 

Q. How are the body parts categorized? (E.g. Abdomen)
A. The body is categorized into three parts, brainium, borax and the abdominal cavity. 
    The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels- A E I O and U. 

Q. What does "varicose" mean?
A. Nearby.