following is supposedly an actual question given on a
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
student, however, wrote the following:
we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving.
for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So
which is it?
we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you",
and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over.
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . .leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."