Laws of...

Law of Mechanical Repair: 
After your hands become coated with grease, 
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.  

  Law of the Workshop: 
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.   


Law of Probability: 
The probability of being watched is directly proportional 
to the stupidity of your act.  

Law of the Telephone: 
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.  

Law of the Alibi: 
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, 
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.  

Variation Law: 
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start 
to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).  

Law of the Bath: 
When the body is fully immersed in water, 
the telephone rings.  

Law of Close Encounters: 
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you 
are with someone you don't want to be seen with.  

Law of the Result: 
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.  

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.  

Law of the Theatre: 
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest 
from the aisle arrive last.  

Law of Coffee: 
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask 
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 


Murphy's Law of Lockers: 
If there are only two people in a locker room, 
they will have adjacent lockers.  

Law of Rugs/Carpets: 
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.  

Law of Location: 
No matter where you go, there you are.  

Law of Logical Argument: 
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.  

Brown's Law: 
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.  

Oliver's Law: 
A closed mouth gathers no feet.  

Wilson 's Law: 
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.