Dogs and Cats...
dishes with the paw print are yours and
your food. The other dishes are mine and
my food Please note, placing a paw print in
middle of my plate and food does not stake a
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I
that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
stairway was not designed by NASCAR and
not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not
object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
than you can run.
cannot buy anything bigger than a king
bed. I am very sorry about this.
I will continue sleeping on the couch to
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl
in a ball when they sleep. It is
sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
the fullest extent possible. I also
tails straight out and having tongues
out the other end to maximize space is
the last time, there is not a secret
from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat
there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob
get your paw under the edge and try to pull the
open. I must exit through the same door I
Also, I have been using the bathroom for
--canine or feline attendance is not required.
proper order is kiss me, then go smell
other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted
following message on our front door:
stay off the furniture. (That's why they
Don't ask for money all the time
Are easier to train
Normally come when called
Never ask to drive the car
Don't hang out with drug-using friends
Don't smoke or drink
Don't have to buy the latest fashions
Don't want to wear your clothes
Don't need a gazillion dollars for
If they get pregnant, you can sell their