Seriously Misguided Facts - According To School Kids

The future of  ”I give” is ”I take”.  

The parts of speech are lungs and air.  

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.  

A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.  

Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.  

(Define H2O and CO2) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.  

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.  

The general direction of the Alps is straight up

A city purifies its water supplies by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.  

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.  

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.  

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We don’t raise silk worms in the United States , because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.  

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.  

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.  

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.  

To prevent head colds, use an agoniser to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.  

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.  

The climate is hottest next to the Creator

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.  

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.  

In the middle of the 18th century all the morons moved to Utah.  

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.  

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.  

Iron was discovered because somebody smelt it.  

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.  

When you breathe, you inspire. When you not breath, you expire.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.  

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.  

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.  

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.